STHGUOHTDAS

What kind of life is this

Is it a life worth living

Why do some see life in colors but others only in shades of black

I’m constantly drowning in the sea 

while I see the others on the shore running around on land donning smiles on their face

I see them with their kids and their families and their friends and their parties 

Sometimes they hold hands sometimes they kiss faces 

Creator why oh why 

Do they see the world in happy colors

But I’m just deadweight 

Holding anchor in the waters

I WAS REACHING OUT MY HAND TO SEE IF THERE WAS ANYTHING WORTH SAVING

I IMAGINED WHO I WOULD FIND ON THE OTHER SIDE TO HOLD ONTO ME

BUT MY FINGERS FAILED TO FEEL WHAT WAS REAL

I MISSED MY CHANCE

WE COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED THE VERY FIRST TIME

NOW EACH TIME WE TRY THE DISTANCE ONLY GROWS 

OUR ARMS WEAKER EVERY REACH

NOW I QUESTION WERE YOU EVER REALLY MINE

There was something evil living inside my mirror

Each time I stood before my reflection 

my eyes caught a glimpse of it 

The more I stared the more I saw it try to consume me

It started in my vision

The veins inside me began to bleed black

The whites of my eyes stained red

It waited on me to make its move

The monster had no power unless I hand fed it

A crumb of insecurity

In a moment of weakness it would devour me

But I stood strong against it

I took the sword given to me

Beginning to speak the word of God

Louder my mouth grew spewing out weapons

The evil that once lived in my mirror no longer visits me

It cowered away at the sound of one word

CAN YOU SEE IT?

THE MANY DIFFERENT WEARS OF ME

EVERY DAY I WOULD RECREATE MYSELF

TRYING TO CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF WHO I WAS

 I RECREATED THE MOLD OF ME

RESCULPTING THE WAY I THINK

RENEWING MY POINT OF VIEW

UNTIL ONE DAY I ASKED MYSELF

HOW MANY TIMES WILL I REINVENT THE WHEEL

WILL I EVER FIND THE PERSON I AM TRYING TO BE

The day began with the red sun of the morning spilling over the window sill. We sat beside each other watching the light continue to pour inside our kitchen. In silence we shared a cup of tea made sweet with your hands. You put me to your lips taking sips of me throughout breakfast. My fragility became increasingly noticeable each time you grabbed onto me.